The Effects of Self-Victimization

According to Psychology (and Wikipedia), Self-Victimization is the fabrication of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify the abuse of others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy, or attention seeking.

I started off with a definition so you all would understand the brand of people I am talking about. It ain't hard to tell that we ALL know someone who has a tendency to play the victim role in almost every scenario for various reasons. What we don't know (or care to study) are the reasons behind it, as well as how it effects the people around them. These are the people who tell half-truths in favor of themselves, who point the finger at everyone else for issues they've caused for themselves, who claim to not understand why things are happening to them, etc. The "woe is me" type.

You know who I'm talking about. Hopefully it isn't you. *blank stare*

I've heard a range of reasons as to why people play this role so well, including some I see in the definition. These people are usually attention seekers, who don't feel they've received enough love growing up. They can be selfish and always want to be on the receiving end of sympathy. On the flip side, self-victimization can also come from some form of abuse growing up. Although I sympathize with the latter, I am an avid believer in staying strong and not staying down where people have put you. 

But honestly, and this is my own opinion,  I've found that with most cases, I really just can't stand to deal with people who are self-victimized. Sometimes I feel the independence in me is gritting its teeth at the thought that people find themselves so unlucky with the most slightest of situations. What bothers me the most, is how their own self-victimization hurts other people. Particularly in relationships.

The abused becomes the abuser. The blame is never on themselves, and every issue that comes up between you two, they need an apology for, despite if they are wrong or not. One is constantly making up for the excuses and the lack of the other, as the "victim" constantly feels as though they didn't do anything wrong and they are being picked on for no reason. These are the people who feel justified when they cheat, and may or may not even believe that their happiness should come before others if they've "sacrificed" enough (although a relationship takes compromise and sacrifice from both sides.) Their insecurity is usually at an unnatural high, and they are constantly looking for a way to make up for it, even though they put on a strong front. They are usually in denial as well.

In other words, these are people to stay away from if you want to avoid being hurt, until they've addressed their own issues. Self-victimization ends when you face issues that you have been avoiding. It takes courage and time to heal wounds that you patched over just enough to get by with. Because they never want to face the hurt they've inflicted on others due to their own hurt, they have to be forced to acknowledge the pain that is there and has been caused. The point is to make yourself stronger by facing what you thought would kill you, but couldn't and never will be able to. You have to communicate the issues you had with people from your past and the current that cause you to feel justified in continuing a vicious cycle of hurting. 

The choice is yours. If this is you, what are you going to do?