The Reason You Aren't The Only One She's Talking To

So you meet a cool ass down to earth chick. You both begin building a friendship that you hope will lead to a relationship. She's responsive, attentive, and even laughs at your corny jokes. Time has passed. You're used to being single, but you like her. For whatever reason, you're subconsciously hesitating to begin a relationship.


You realize you're not the only guy she's "talking" to. Not only is she openly dating; she has the nerve to freely admit it to you. The doubts start rolling in. The assumptions begin to nest.

Listen. Get over it. Your damn right you're not the only man she is dating or talking to.

I never understood why men feel so betrayed by a woman who doesn't invest all her eggs into his one basket. I've seen memes posted by bitter men insinuating that she must be a hoe if she has a dude or a few dudes on the side that she spends time with other than them. It sounds ridiculous.

We stem from a society where we were taught that there were 2 women for every one man. Women want to settle down sooner than men, and the biological clock is important to a woman because her time is limited in procreation. This has led men to believe that they have the upper hand in choosing who they want to settle down with and when. Currently in mainstream social media as well as in music and TV, the message is that women are constantly looking to settle down. Men are seen as eligible bachelors up until message, while the woman is seen as taken as soon as she returns your call from when you got her number. Talk about a double standard.

My, my, my, have the tables turned.

Today, women are more educated with higher degrees. Women are leading corporations. There are more entrepreneurs that are female than male. Women have become the bread winners. Due to all this successful progress, we are picky with whom we choose to spend our time with. So why can't we keep our options open like our counterparts? 

Just because a woman decides to have more than one crush, and enjoys the company of other men, does not mean she's promiscuous. It means she values her time. She wants to give herself the opportunity of getting to know an individual and seeing if he is worth pursuing. If you are making her an option, don't be surprised if she's not making you a priority. I never understood why men feel so betrayed when they realize she's not solely focused on them. Usually when the woman finds another, and they are mutually interested in actively pursuing a relationship exclusively, all the others fall to the wayside. 

On the flip side, if a man and a woman are already in a relationship and she has a man she's keeping on the side, then understand that this is the "just in case" man. This usually means there are cracks in the relationship. There were possible disappointments and she's no longer invested all of her feelings into you in case she gets hurt again. This is a completely different situation, based on trust, and needs to be addressed between the two of you.

As far as I see it, if you want her to consider you as a serious partner, then make her your woman and treat her right. If you're hesitating, don't be surprised that she is too.