This was written back in 2011. When I was at one of the lowest points in my life. I may not be in that dark place anymore, but I know someone out there can still relate. I hope these words serve as a beautiful release for you, as they did for me.
Seem to go hand in hand.
"I wanna be wit you",
"My ex? Nah, that's old news",
"I'm not lying to you",
Guess that's just how it be.
There she was, young and dumb, taking on the world, thinking she knew it all, but still always waiting for the one experience always denied to her.
Yearning for something real, on the Mary J. Blige tip, feel me ?
And there he was, grown and aged so finely from life's jagged experiences.
It was the perfect fit.
At least, that's what it seemed..
But he turned out to be a square peg, and I'm sorry yo, but he just wasn't fitting in her round hole, not in this life or the next!
Cuz time surely has a funny way of revealing the truth.
And the truth surely has a funny way of feeling like 1000 white-hot needles just made contact with your pupils.
But now he wants out.
Finally realized he's been lying to himself too.
And she's just supposed to take that ?
Let him walk away like he didn't just change the fuck outta her life ?!
Well, excuse me no no no no negro, you ain't goin nowhere!
Please, you can't leave me like this, what am I supposed to do without you?
This had to be as real for you as it was for me...
Stop, don't go, pleaseeeeee, I LOVE YOU!
And before long, spirits are broken, weaknesses flaunted, vulnerabilities bared..
The lowest of lows has to be reached before the journey back up can begin.
But in case you haven't been paying attention, she's up again.
Stronger from the experience she so longed for.
Better from it too.
But even still, looking back at it all, she wishes she coulda caught the lies before they fell so easily from his lips.
"I still care about you",
"I never meant to hurt you",
Man listen, you need to miss me wit all that.
You lie like a rug..