People tend to think that what women want from men differ from what men want from women. I decided to explore this a bit with a bit of help from Sam Johnson, who would also like to be known as "Daddy" (check out our latest podcast for the inside scoop on this #ShamelessPlug). I asked him to tell me what he looks for in a woman and I wrote what I look for in a man; just to gain some male and female perspective in this thing called life. We found we had many similarities; I'll let you read for yourself.
Sam started off by challenging one of the biggest misconceptions towards women: the body.
Sam: Speaking as a man, I look for certain characteristics in a woman. Anything varying from her personality, to her being goal oriented and even her body structure. Most men like myself who workout feel that having a woman with a nice body is great but what some women get misconstrued is that we want a woman with abs, a fat ass, nice hips and anything else you can think of. I appreciate a woman who can keep her body in shape to my pleasing. That doesn't mean you need the biggest of asses or a crazy workout regimen. As long as I'm attracted to you physically, that's all that matters because I could care less who my lady is appealing to.
The first thing we agreed upon was Ambition.
Mimi:I believe a man has to be ambitious. All around ambitious. When he wants something, he works hard for it, because he knows and believes that once it’s achieved, no one can take that away from him.
Sam: Now as for goals, we all want someone on the same level as us or somewhere close if anything. A woman with ambition is sexy & appealing to any man! I truly feel all women are more ambitious than men but it takes that one man to help bring it out of a woman if it hasn't already. Goals in terms of owning something, not living with their parents till they 30+ braiding hair in their Mom's living room.
I touched on a few more insights of what I appreciate in a man.
Someone who knows how to make me laugh is almost A1 in my book. Those who know me know I love to smile and I love to laugh. Good (not crass) jokes are important. It lightens up the mood, and keeps good chemistry.
Hygiene is important. A man that looks good and smells good…Lawd. Physically, I don’t tend to like the skinny type, but what’s more important is the physical attraction between both people. Everyone has their types I guess.
Stability. A man who takes pride in his work and who’s not expecting someone to baby him is ideal. I believe a man should take care of home. That’s not to say a man has to be the sole bread winner. I also look for partnership in a man. Someone I can build with on every level. The goal is to grow.
Sam also touched on a topic that is relevant in today's search for the ideal woman.
Sam: Another thing you gotta look out for when interested in a woman is her social media accounts. Social media can tell you more about a person than they will themselves, whether it's them spilling their personal lives online or posting provocative pictures for likes. Now speaking as a man, I will double tap an attractive woman's picture. I mean c’mon I’m human and sometimes a double tap does me some good lol.
Now there's certain women I won't follow or double tap. I'm not too interested in women who post ass or twerk videos for likes because that doesn't interest me. We may double tap pictures, like status’, etc. because these women are taboo to us. In all actuality we don't want those women. It may catch our interest at times but we prefer the subtle women that most people don't know about because nobody wants someone that everyone has had.
I felt it was important to gain the perspective of a man, because as a woman, we sometimes believe that we know exactly what men want from us. It's important to always ask someone who is grounded what they want, so you don't lose yourself in trying to be something you believe they want. Also remember that is it very important to be yourself, and love the person you are. Love starts at the root-yourself.